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Ever wanted to travel around the world, but not sure what you're in for? This is the storyboard for the Ribatron-don: A hold-no-bars truthful, blunt, humorous and unedited magazine about the hell and heaven of continent jumping.

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Inti Raymi: The Festival of the Sun

06/24/10

Loudspeakers belted speeches in Spanish, as we walked towards the main square of Cusco, known in Inca times as Huacaypata - “The Warriors´ Square.” I later realized why. It was time for the packed crowds of Inti Raymi, the Inca celebration of the sun and the winter solstice.

The parade circled the square blocked off by police. Buildings were draped in massive Inca photos, the images of ancient priests. In an attempt to crazy-horse gallope before the beginning of the Inti Raymi Parade, I was only able to penguin waddle, still sore from the hike with the facial expression of a woman in labour. Thinking of this, I then wondered why men have nipples and some women have nostril hair.

We found Yamila, Fabienne and Victor in a section overlooking the square and joined them. The sound of marching began. Men chanting. Dressed in long, colourful gowns, soldiers passed by wielding shields and speers. Elderly Peruvian women as tall as my belly button, nestled under my arms like I was a giant and they were baby elephants. Their elbows began digging into my side and gazed at them with puppy dog eyes, wishing I had octopus hands to push them gently away. I stiffened my position, while women on both sides attempted to burp me with their eblows.

“I am being hit from all angles,” Boxie-boo yelped. She gave me a strange, enthusiastic look, the facial expression of old men after learning of the invention of Viagra. She then tightened her lips, pouted, looking ready to do her usual rabbit thump of anger.

Tourists were as sparse in this section as armpit hair on newborn babies. With most locals being small, my head was well-above the crowd, even more so than in places like China and Cambodia. Women with boards of jewellery tapped my shoulder, while locals chewed coca leaves, pushing into me. The sound of plastic twisting. People cheering. Dancers and soldiers passed through the square, some carrying golden chairs and what appeared to be an ancient mummy with its hand attached to its face, stray hairs dangling, old skin attached to visible bones. In every single way, I appeared distracted, but was sure to bury my wallet, before returning my hand into my pocket between photos - a habit born from traveling.

The wind belly-laughed with the sound of banging drums. Then silence, only the loudspeaker´s muffled words as the head priest held his arms up towards the sun. His soldiers dropped to their knees, colourful and in perfect unison. Their costumes resembled the card soldiers from Alice in Wonderland. A child was lifted onto a father´s shoulders, forcing Boxie-boo to elongate her neck and coil her sight in abnormal positions.

Post-photograph, I felt a hand brush my upper thigh. Then saw a man in his early 20s.

Adrenaline pumped through me, screaming into my bones, my smile smothered away, turning my face into the look of a disabled frog attempted to stalk flies. Ribbit, homie. I shook my head slowly, my forehead lined with wrinkles and my body leaned forward. I pointed at the man beside me as if my finger was a gun, my body visibly flexed in attack position, warning him I was willing and able to massage his brain with my forefinger up his nose. He lifted his hands in the surrender position and walked away. I imagined him tripping, falling face first into a pile of dog shit with his crotch slammed into a rock.

Legion after legion of soldiers - from red and yellow, to green and golden in dress - stayed in a respectful silence, bowing. The procession ended shortly after, the crowd dispercing. We caught a cab to the next Inca celebration site, finding packed crowds in the thousands.

Walking on route to Sacsayhuaman, salespeople were in full pursuit for the rare sight of foreigners. The roadway was lined with outhouses, women in decorative ponchos carrying baby sheep, dangling with bracelettes and shawls. Salespeople were selling everything from traditional clothing and small instruments, to bubble-makers and candy.

Most tourists paid anywhere from $100 to $150 U.S. for a tour of Inti Raymi. Our tour cost a few bucks for a taxi ride between sites, finding a viewing point on a hillside between the expensive seats, overlooking the entire parade.

We arrived at Sacsayhuaman early. It was built before the Inca Empire around 1100 AD, later expanded by the Incas. It was the official ceremony point for Inti Raymi, where flag runners lined the hillside, standing inbetween the massive rock walls of the Killke ruin. The opposing hillside was packed with locals, as most Peruvian people could not afford the $70 U.S. ticket price and the view was fine from above. Gathering in what appeared to over 100,000 onlookers, we awaited the emperor. He arrived, carried on a golden chair on the shoulders of his guards. When he raised his arms, the sun reflected off his gold medalions, causing the crowd to erupt with cheers.

The event had four different rituals, involving dancing and praising movements to worship the sun, all narrated by speeches in the native language of Quechuan. It ended when a black llama, most likely sedated, was symbolically sacrified. The sacrifice was simulated, no llama died, through the raising of organs that seemed hidden on the central rock structure, where the ancient priest screamed, elevated towards the crowds.

In all honesty, we were both very glad we did not pay the expensive cost of a tour and seats. The rituals at Sacsayhuaman were very similar to the square, easily visible and more entertaining to be viewed on the hillside from a local´s perspective. This should be the cardinal rule of any traveler - whenever safe and accessible, leave the shelter of your foreigner mindset and enter a society, as best you can, as a citizen of their culture, seeing their world from the inside out, instead of merely spectating from the outside in.

That´s all for now.

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